ADOPTING JOSHUA: brain dump

Saturday, January 16, 2010

brain dump

Sleep eludes me. I have 5 little girls sleeping in the other room, Roundabout Geek next to me, a dog at my feet and my laptop on my lap.

Sleep eludes me this morning, much as it has been doing since Tuesday. I am anxious in a way I have been only one other time - when Jonathan was in the hospital fighting for his life. He lost. I can only hope this new fight for survival does not end the same way.

I want to go to Haiti. I want to bring tons of stuff with me to help the children at HIS Home. I want to just pick up and go. I am so torn. Princess N and Quarterback are already anxious about me going in February. At this point, I will need to bring everything I need to survive - water, food, clothes, a tent, cash. My son is there. It would be no different for me if it were Princes N or Quarterback. He is my son and my son needs his mom.

There are several adoptive parents going this week. I wish I was one of them. I wish Roundabout Geek was one of them. Haven't asked him his thoughts.

This is so hard, feeling so helpless. The tears don't stop. The helplessness doesn't go away. We find out good news and yet it is hard to celebrate with everything that is going on. I feel like I am barely existing - trying to keep it together on the outside while I'm breaking down inside. I am so scared for my son, for the other 130 children at HIS Home, for the staff, for Hal and Chris.

And new worries arise...what if the children are all taken to some camp in Cuba or Florida...without being able to speak, who would speak on their behalf...tell people their names and that they have parents in the US. I want my son safe, but not lost in some refugee camp. I want him to come to the states, to live with us in our family. Our kids have met him. We ARE his parents.

Our government must find a way to bring these children who have adoptive parents safely to their homes. The country is reaching out to help them. Their families deserve to have them.

February is still on as far as I'm concerned. I need to be down there. I need to do something. I need to help Hal and Chris with the children. I need to bring supplies. I need to see my son, to hold him, to beg the US government to let me bring him home.

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adoption status

Dossier in Haiti - Jan. 2007
In MOFA - Jan. 2007
Out MOFA - April 2007
In IBESR - June 2008
Out IBESR - Oct. 2008
In Parquet - Nov. 2008

***Pulled for dispense

***********************

January 12, 2010
God moved mountains

**********************
Granted humanitarian parole - Jan. 23, 2010
GOTCHA - Jan. 26, 2010
***********************
Our Haitian adoption continues....

Presidential Dispensation - April 27, 2010
Parquet -
***********************
Our US adoption continues...

Met w/ lawyer - Feb. 10, 2010
Papers filed - June 4, 2010
Court date - July 30, 2010
Adoption final - July 30, 2010
Birth Certificate received -
Naturalized -

engr2mom

I don't have any catchy way of saying who I am...I am just me. I am wife to my amazing husband, who calls himself Roundabout Geek. I am mom to our beautiful daughter, N, our athletic son, C, and our Haitian baby, J.

I am a wife, a mom, an engineer, a hostess, a small group leader, a friend, a volunteer. I love my husband like I have loved no other. He truly is the one that God created for me. I love my kids and know that I would do anything for them. I love my job...yep, I really do. I enjoy what I do and being with and around the people I work with and for. I volunteer at the school, at our place of worship, in our town.

With my husband, we have lead a small group in our home for four years. We truly believe that God has called us to live life with people, in relationship with others, not just every now and then, but all the time. I love having our group over at our house, even when it means I spend time cleaning or cooking. I love going camping with them. I love laughing and crying and rejoicing and celebrating and praying with and for our small group. or doing just about anything with them. Many of them have walked along side of us through some very hard times. And they are the same ones that celebrate with us when there is reason to celebrate. They are my second family and I love that my kids know them by name.

I know that I am imperfect. I am a sinner. I have many, many flaws. I am saved by the perfect blood of the lamb. Jesus alone fills all my voids. Is my strength when I am weak. He calms my fears and my frustration. He truly loves me unconditionally. He is always beside me, carrying me. He makes me perfect. It is Him and Him alone that I choose to worship and glorify in all I do.

roundabout geek

This is my one and only, my amazing husband. He is father to our wonderful kids and lover of my heart. He captured my heart when it wasn't even available to be captured. He is a Steelers fan to the tee - and isn't afraid to let everyone know. He is a road engineer by day, football/baseball coach by evening, daddy and husband all the time.

He loves me. He loves when its easy. He loves me when its hard. He is my biggest fan. He helps me stand when I'm spent. He calms me when I'm stressed. He challenges me to be the best mom and wife and I can be. He comforts me when I fell like I am failing miserably. He is honest with me. He encourages me. He reminds me I am beautiful, especially when I feel am I anything but. He inspires me to be better, to love him and our kids more fully. He is my best friend. He is the love of my life.

He loves his kids. He challenges them to be better than what they think they can be. He spends time with them doing what they love. He cuddles and snuggles with them. He gives them baths. He plays catch. He teaches them and encourages them. He is patient and understanding. He makes them a priority.

He loves God. He listens to Him, even when what He has to say is new or challenging or difficult or WAY out of his comfort zone. It was his idea to adopt J from Haiti. He has a special place in his heart for Haiti and her people and he loved Haiti so much he wanted to share Haiti with me, not only be taking me there, but bringing it here.

princess n

This is our only daughter, Princess N. She is our firstborn, and at 10 years old has definitely shown she has a mind of her own. She is wildly imaginative. She is compassionate and sensitive. She loves to love others. She teaches me so much about life and love and how to love. She challenges me to be better, to admit when I'm wrong, and to love unconditionally.

She is definitely a girly girl. She loves to do her hair, pick out her clothes, dance around her room or the house to real music or just to the music in her head. She loves to go to DCI with her daddy. She loves photography. She loves to help me in the kitchen. She has big dreams.

She is the best big sister her two younger brothers could ask for. She is Quarterback's biggest fan even when he annoys her like no other. She is like a second mom to Joshua and dotes on him like only a big sister can.

God knew what he was doing when he blessed us with this beauty! I pray that she will always stay true to God and to herself, being the person that God wants her to be. I pray she never stops being compassionate, sensitive, loving. I pray she knows it is okay to go against the grain if it means following God and not the world. I pray she knows she is always beautiful because she is a child of God and he makes all people beautiful. I pray she knows she is loved - by me, her daddy, and by God.

quarterback

This is our incredibly athletic Quarterback, C. At eight years old, he proves that you really can't run around too much. He loves anything athletic - golf, football, basketball, baseball, soccer, wrestling, running, biking, swimming. He was born with a football in his hands, or so it seems. He knows the game, the sport, the plays. He passes the ball to himself in our living room and lives for days to be outside. He teaches me to be energetic and how to throw a good spiral!

He is the best big brother a little brother could ask for. He shares his room with Joshua. He willingly shares his toys and his stuff. He lets Joshua follow him. He plays with him and teaches him.

God knew what he was doing when he blessed me with this energetic young man. I pray he always remembers that he will always be an example - to his brother, to his friends, to the world. I pray that he uses his athletic talent to glorify God; to show others that life isn't about being the best at what you do, but about being the best for God and God alone. I pray that wherever his life takes him, he remembers that he is loved by me, his daddy, his family, and by God.

joshua wood

This is our youngest, Joshua Wood. At three years old, he loves life! It is through our adoption journey, through these adorable brown eyes, that we are learning what it means to have faith and to trust God implicitely with His plan and His time.

Throughout our journey, we have prayed that God would move the mountains that stood between us and bringing Joshua home. On January 12, 2010, He did just that. He moved the mountains of Haiti in a violent 7.0 earthquake. Eleven days later, Joshua was granted Humanitarian Parole and on January 26, 2010, we got him. On July 30, 2010, Joshua officially became ours as the judge in our county granted our adoption decree. We thank God that this leg of the journey is over. We must still wait for naturalization and citizenship, but we know that God has HIS hands in all of it!

Joshua is truly a treasure...and a challenge. He has an infectious laugh that if I could bottle I know I would never have a bad day. We are learning just how many people prayed for him before and after the earthquake. It is not uncommom to go around town and hear, "There's Joshua!". He is loved by a great many people, many of whom he will run up to and give a big hug to. He is Mr. Personality and can easily make someone melt just by smiling at them.

We are learning how to parent differently for him. We are learning what it is like to have a three year old that has a mind of his own, who isn't afraid to test the boundaries or even cross them! We are learning to lean on others in a new way with him, for strength and encouragement. We thank God for the amazing community around us, knowing we could not do this alone.

God knew what he was doing when he placed Joshua in my heart instead of in my womb. I have a new understanding of how He has adopted me and calls me his own. Joshua is my son and I love him as if he were biologically mine. I pray that he continues to grow and be healthy. I pray that he strives to be the kid that God wants him to be. I pray that he knows how much he is loved by me, by his daddy, by his family, by God.