I Am Amazed

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I can still get amazed. Especially when my amazement comes about after I realize the enormity of God and his control and hand in everything.

I spent yesterday evening with a friend in need. Next to my husband, she is my closest and dearest friend. Being with her meant telling her some hard stuff, things she didn't want to hear or face. I prayed all day yesterday and on my drive over. I prayed that God would give me the right words to say to her and wisdom to know when I had said enough and I just needed to listen. I prayed that He would give her receptive ears and a softened heart. I prayed that He would use me to help her. And you know what? He did. She was very receptive to what I said and knew that I was only talking to her out of deep love and concern for her. She is a Christian, but would admitedly tell you that things haven't been easy. But, because she and I have the same Father in Heaven, I knew that things would be okay. God even put all of the things that happened last night in motion and after sitting down and processing all of it, I am so thankful that he uses a sinner like me to reach out to people who need to see Him and feel His love.

As I continued to process last night in the light of today, it occurred to me that I have been on the receiving end of that exact same love more than once. I can see in my own life where God has placed certain people in the right places at the right time to help me when I couldn't help myself, to approach me with hard stuff that I didn't want to hear or face. Looking back, as hard as it was, I'm glad they did what they did...I'm a better person because of it.

Over the last 8 months or so, I've had a lot of time to learn and be quiet with God. I realized, fairly quickly after Jonathan died, that I had a choice to make. I could either continue to be sad, question, grieve, do the "Why me?" routine until I was blue in the face OR I could look at his passing as an opportunity for growth. Don't get me wrong, if I had my choice, Jonathan would still be safe, sound, and healthy in Haiti - or better yet, in my home. But God had other plans for Jonathan, and for our family. Those plans did not include Jonathan coming into our home. He taught us how to love unconditionally, to pray without ceasing, to lean on our friends and family, to find joy and peace in the midst of trying circumstances. He showed us HIM in a real way, in a BIG way. I chose to look as his passing as an opportunity for growth and as a blessing and not a curse. I have grown so much closer to my husband, my kids, my friends, my family, and more importantly to my GOD. And I learned that He is faithful...he blesses us when we are least expecting it. He gave us Joshua Wood when we least expected it, and I am soooo glad he did!


I have seen what God sees and I felt how God feels when he looks down on the people of Haiti. My heart go out to them and I pray for them daily. I no longer want those things which I do not need. I have a 3 bedroom home with a refrigerator and pantry full of food and closets full of clothes, a roof over my head, and comfortable beds to sleep on. But my heart continues to break knowing that there is a country, not too far from here, where all of that is considered a luxury. Yes food, for many, is a luxury.

I am so thankful for organizations like Nehemiah Vision Ministries, HIS Home for Children, and the many other organizations that are working to help the people of Haiti and bring the love and light of Christ to a country that is so deep in darkness. The people who run these missions have so many wonderful stories to tell of how lives have changed thanks to God and his perfect provision. I thank HIM every day that Joshua is at HIS Home, where he is being loved and is learning about Christ, even at 8 months. Hal and Chris don't just talk Christ, they live HIM in everything they do. This couple has touched my heart and my family in so many ways and they will always be near and dear to us.