Less than two weeks

In less than two weeks, two of my friends and I will be visiting our boys in Haiti. I am excited and anxious all at the same time. I haven't seen Joshua since we left on September 18th last year. I've gotten pictures of him from several people who have gone down since then, but this will be my first trip since September. I am excited to see Hal and Chris again, and of course to see how much my little guy has grown in six months. My bags are mostly packed and I'm still getting stuff from other adoptive parents who are trying to get stuff down to their kids without having to spend a bunch of money...hey, who can blame them??? I'm adopting a baby, so sending stuff other than formula isn't as common for me as it is for people with older kids. But I know they'd do it for me...that's how us adoptive parents work!!!

I am anxious too because this will be my first trip to Haiti without Craig and this will be the first time I am away from BOTH him and my two kiddos for more than 4 days and definitely overseas. So, my worries are increasing a bit, but I know as soon as I get in the air, all I'm going to be thinking about is getting to Haiti. Of course, once it's time to go, I'll be sad to leave Joshua, but again, as soon as we get in the air, all I'm going to be thinking about it getting home to Craig and the kids, so it goes both ways.

I think right now the excitement is still overshadowing the anxieties. I love Haiti and her people. I love Hal and Chris and the work they do. I love their very hardworking staff of nannies, security, cooks, assistants, etc. I love seeing the kids and their excitement to see someone new to play with. I love my son and the fact that I get to play with him. This trip, I'm going to spend a lot more time playing with the kids and a lot less time being a hermit. This trip I'm going to spend a lot more time playing with the kids and a lot less time behind my camera(s). This trip I am going to watch my son interact with the other kids...of course I will still feed him and all that, but it's fun watching babies play with each other!

I am hoping to get there and find out that we've moved on to the next step of our adoption process. If we haven't, I will be disappointed, no doubt about that. But if we haven't, I will remember that our adoption is really in God's hands. Yes, we are dependent on social works and government officials and lawyers, but all of them are really in God's hands too. I pray every day for his hands to be with those taking care of our paperwork. I pray everyday for his perfect plan and his perfect timing. And yes, I pray everyday that our son will be home soon, even putting "by Christmas" into my prayers. Do I find comfort in knowing that God is in control? Absolutely. Do I long to have Joshua home? Absolutely. Do I wish I knew more about what was going on? Absolutely. Is the wait hard? Absolutely. Patience is something that is very hard, and if you pray for it, God will give you the lesson of all lessons to teach you patience. Guess who prayed for patience? You got it...me!! I keep going back to a devotion I read last year...it's from a devotion book by Sarah Young titled Jesus Calling. It says, "Stop trying to work things out before their times have come. Accept the limitations of living one day at a time." And the verse that goes along with it is Ecclesiastes 3:1, "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."

The verse is comforting and helps, but I am human and this waiting can be hard. God is in control and I trust him for it!