Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Today I learned...

...that my son, Quarterback, is a reindeer.  Dancer to be exact.  Or he was for his Christmas program tonight.  He was soooooo cute.  They actually did another number where they - his class - acted like "hip hop reindeer".  He was wearing grandpa's sunglasses, looking quite cool and putting the moves on to boot!  Too cute.

I also learned that far too often I let my emotions do my speaking and thinking....before I let my mind stop me from letting my emotions get involved.  This is a lesson I should have learned years ago.  I have too often let my emotions speak, only to find that I had quite firmly insertd my foot into my mouth. 

I will admit I struggle with being true to myself and still handling things that hurt me or bother me in a mature, adult manner.  I too often think it has to be one or the other.  I have the need to let people know what I'm thinking or how I feel regardless of the consequences.  I have to be right.

The problem with this is that I often end up turning people away rather than endearing people to me.  The conversation or e-mail or letter just doesn't get the reaction I intended and before I know it, I have caused pain to someone else.  Now, I am a big proponent for taking responsibility for ones own reactions or feelings to a situation.  No, I cannot make you feel one way or another.  However, I can't use that excuse to go around just being blunt about what I think or feel without any regard to how someone might take it.

So I am learning that I don't always need to be right. I don't always need to have the last word. I do not need to - or should I say that I should not just say whatever I want and then tell someone, "I can't make you feel anything."  The truth is that my words can cause pain to someone, whether verbally or in e-mail or letter.  I shouldn't go around tiptoeing around people, scared to be myself.  But I do need to be considerate of what's going on around me, or in that person's life.

Roundabout Geek is such a great mirror for me in this respect - as much as I don't like to admit it, he knows me better than anyone.  He knows whats behind things I say to other people.  On more than one occassion he has reminded me that my words can be harsh.  He reminds me to be careful with what I say and how I say them.  I don't like that he is so blunt with me.  He's usually right.

And today is no different...I wanted to explain to someone my perspective on a situation.  I wrote an e-mail, read it, saved it, left alone for a few hours, prayed over it, read it, change, saved it, left it again, read it and sent it.  I copied Roundabout Geek on it because he was involved in the situation, but also because I knew he would read it as if I was saying the words to him.  And his reaction - "You like to pick fights, don't you."  I didn't set out to pick a fit, or kick a person while they were down.  What I wrote had no malice or anger behind it.  There's been stuff going on around us that involved me, but I haven't been given the opportunity to give my perspective.  I honestly am not angry at anyone because of what happened - what happened just happened.  In my need, however, to have my voice heard, my perspective laid out, I may have caused pain to someone else.  And that was not my intention.

So I am learning to really watch what I say, how I say it, and that I don't need to be right or have the last word.  God will walk with me as I walk this path, because it is only with Him walking with me that I will be able to put my pride by my side and learn to just love others, the way He intends them to be loved.

I will continue to walk, to learn, to love, to pray, to trust, to be patient.

Always hoping.  Always trusting.  Always loving.  Always.

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