From here...

So, to get from there to here....

Craig and I went to Haiti in September to, among other things, grieve the loss of our Beautiful Jonathan with those who knew him best - the staff and operators of HIS Home. These are the wonderful people who fed him, bathed him, changed him, and loved him each and every day. These are the people who spent their time with him in the hospital (hospital care in Haiti is drastically different than here...but that's for another post at another time). And Junior was with him when he went to see Jesus. We desperately wanted to say thank you to all of these wonderful people for loving our little boy when we couldn't be there to do it ourselves. Don't get me wrong, we loved - and still love - him. He is and always will be our son.

We were also seeking the next direction God would take us. We hadn't ruled out adopting a different child, but we hadn't decided to do it either. We were waiting for CLEAR direction from HIM as to where HE wanted us to go next.

Arriving in Haiti was bittersweet. I was excited to see Chris, but I also knew I would not see the little boy I loved in my heart and missed so much. Grasping that fact was hard. Seeing his grave even harder.

When we arrived, we learned of another little boy who needed a home - a ten week old baby who had been dropped off Friday (it was Wednesday when we arrived). We met him and he smiled when we picked him up. We learned all about him. We met his mom. We took him to get his adoption testing done. We played with him. We fed him. We changed him. We prayed. We feared. We prayed. We cried. We prayed. After four days of contemplating what to do next, we decided that God was asking us to accept Wood as our son. He wasn't done with our adoption, and even though we were very afraid, he was asking us to trust him. So, we did. I leaned heavily on 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." After reciting that scripture over and over and over again, and hearing the words to Steve Green's "He who Began a Good Work" in my head, we decided that we had to adopt Wood. We decided to keep his given name as his middle name and gave him the first name of Joshua. So, he is now known as Joshua Wood, by us and by those who care for him.

Since that September trip, we have received pictures and updates from those who have visited him. I will be leaving in March to go visit him. I can't wait and I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

So, now you know where we are and what we've been doing the last 15 months of our lives - at least as far as the adoption goes. From here on, my blog will be mixed with memories and my daily life. My life includes so much - and so many lessons that I've learned in our process of adopting Joshua. So, even though this will not be entirely about "Adopting Joshua", it will be the place where I can keep everyone posted on our progress, or lack there of. It will be where I vent my frustrations and mourn my Jonathan. It will be where I share some of the great things that are going on here with our other two kiddos. It will be where I can share what God is doing in my life, my marriage, my kids, and my adoption. God is in control, and I wouldn't have it any other way!